Ah Kai's Egosphere

Went for the 3rd interview. Met the other boss. Saw their staff salary breakdown (yes, vivid figures with detailed breakdowns... which include the bosses' pay as well). I appreciate the honesty and am impressed by the bosses' strong sense of commitment and we-just-like-to-do-crazy-things attitude to their work. We had a mutual understanding of what we can offer one another. And I was asked "so when can you start work?"

"Well, anytime~" =D I was dying to be productive loh.... Already was kpo-ing and helping the other staff start up the generator while waiting for the boss before the 3rd interview.

And so I started today! WoohoO~! The work culture is very chop chop kalipok. Say start work jiu start work. And everyone there is very easy to get along so I think I kind of fit in rather instantly =D

Did some simple stuff today and got to sit in a few meetings. Still picking up from where the previous producer left off and getting used to the system. Already, I can foresee ALOT of things to do and ALOT of multi-tasking awaiting me in the horizon.

Intimidated? A bit. But very excited too! Hahaha~ I'm a closet masochist....

Anyway the journey to my new office brings me back to the days of AHS. Have to climb this super long flight of stairs (137 steps) to work. Haha~ Our "free gym membership" as quoted from my boss. My new colleagues are already gawking at my biceps (the result of all my production work), soon I think I'm gona have sexy calves muscles to flaunt too.

Saw some familiar faces today and am happy I'm at this new workplace. Yah, this is more like my kind of work environment. And definitely my kind of work culture.

Well, tml am officially gona start working on the new tasks. I hope I won't let myself down. Nah, I won't. Hahaha~~~ 加油！！！

Yeah~ Finally fulfilled my promise and completed the project.

Honestly, this project, despite the fact that it really was a 烂摊子, wasn't as bad nor hellish as some of the past projects I've done. Yea, these days I can calmly say "I've been through worse" in the face of jialat production situations.My threshold for crisis has probably been raised a few notches higher ever since Kallang Roar.

Gone for another interview and a re-interview today. I was called to the former by an unknown lady (she refused to give me her name; and I have no idea how the hell they got my contact). Actually, I wasn't that keen about the job offer from the start. Just thought I shouldn't dismiss any opportunity that comes knocking. Furthermore, it's always good to spread my name and hp number around in the industry =>

I was unfortunately late for the interview. Had shoot the day before and got home late after the late dinner (I was famished!) and beer treat from our director (since it was a wrap for the series). Anyways, the vibes I got from the company as I stepped in wasn't that inviting already. Didn't really like the other APs working there. They gave off this weird vibe that bridges between XL and GL. Then the bosses oso din made me feel like I'll have a very happy and chatty working relationships with them either. In fact, I have a feeling I'm gona end up quarreling with the lady boss sometime very soon if I were to start work there. Can sense the power distance, as well as the generation gap =p

I knew right then I am not going to accept the full-time offer. The lady didnt seem to think very highly of freelancers, saying (with much hint of disdain) that they usually just quickly finish the projects and "run away" after 3 months. I was like: duhh.... abo stay around and help you wash toilet sweep floor meh??? We are freelancers, we finish the project and we move on! Unless u got projects and we like working with you lah, else stick around oso no money mah~

But of course I didnt tell her that. I also didnt mention that whether a freelancer wana stay on to do more projects with the company is dependent heavily on the quality of the working relationship with you, the boss. From a one-sided story I heard, the turn over rate is very the high lo. And apparently no AD wana continue with them after a project is completed. And since the bosses don't even remember the people they worked with before-- as I found out after mentioning the name of a friend of mine who had worked there previously-- I somehow got the hint that employees' welfare matters very little to them too...

Oh and did I mention we didnt even shake hands?? Not during the rather hasty and awkward introduction nor the very hasty good-bye. So I was pretty determined when I left the office after the interview.

I was happy to go for the re-interview at this other company after that. I had an interview before with a staff of certain authority, but the bosses were away at the last minute that time. So this time round I had to go again cos the bosses wanted to see me personally. Apparently they were rather busy again so I only chatted with one of the bosses.

After the experience at the weird-vibe-company, I found myself very comfortable at the re-interview. The workplace is cool -- so vibrant and interesting, the staff there are cool -- friendly, smiley, quirky, pretty people, the boss is cool -- the kind I can crap and probably drink beer with, the vibes are cool -- I can tell this company got good vision and principles and they probably see their employees as people rather than assets, and most importantly, the job scope is way much more cooler.

About a year ago, I was still this idealistic girl who had a heart for the local film industry, and had pledged to play a part, one way or another, in the rebuilding of our Singapore film scene. I say "rebuild" because there was once a "golden age" for the Singapore film industry during the 50s & 60s, when film productions had been prolific and robust. And thus I had actively volunteered my service to a local film symposium, various short films projects and kept up with local productions at niche screenings.

Then, I entered the TV realm and experienced the instant gratification of a guaranteed mass audience for TV drama and variety productions; and understood the cruel reality of how film-making for the local market is often a loss-making enterprise.That was when I started to get too bogged down by TV productions to care about the local films. I missed a number of local features that I had wanted to watch and never bothered to catch up on them after I was done with my projects. I kind of decided to just make a living out of TV work and forget about pursuing the idealistic and "noble" dream.

But it seems I may be able to redeem myself and make good on my pledge now. This company produces local features and promotes local productions as well. And I like their new initiative of bringing films to the masses via their recently-acquired portable giant  inflatable screen. Re-interview was short and brief but I could tell I can work there. Unfortunately, my employment was again uncertain cos they need to sort out with the finance side with regards to my pay..

I was disappointed cos I had hope to start work tomorrow. A workaholic like me can't stand idling around without anything meaningful to work on. Nevertheless, I was hopeful since the boss said there shouldnt be a problem since he likes me.

Then the phone call came while I was having dinner. I was asked to go for a 3rd interview tomorrow so that we can confirm things. I wonder if this were part of their "test" to assess potential candidates... First a non-boss to test waters see if the candidate is competent enough for the job, then one of the bosses to sound out the personality to see if can work together, then finally (hopefully it's a final) an everyone-meet-together over lunch affair to see if the candidate really is keen on the job.  

Well, I indeed am keen~ At least I'm gona be able to learn alot of new things again =D AD work is starting to lose its appeal to me. Just hope everything would work out smoothly and I could start work hopefully on Thursday. Wish me Luck!

1 Ep down, 2 more to go.

It's been a week since I started my "token service" with this company in the bid to help Cherlyn. Yes, if you've realized, I'm not willing to regard this short stint as one of my professional involvements... it's too cheap... and too spoil-market.

But for those who understands me, you'll know I'll still give my all to whatever I do... Especially if it is something for a friend. Already I've been working till the wee hours to prep the stuff for shoot (only had half an hr sleep before my first shoot day on set). I just hope they won't start to take me for granted.

Once again, I'm convinced of my gift: the gift of making really great and wonderful friends! =D

On the first day of shoot, we were in need of an extra but were also (and still are) in serious lack of budget (ie. can't hire from extras agency). Thus, on the very same day we were shooting, we were also scrambling to find a talent for the evening's shoot.

Well, the very lucky me finally got Firdaus to come save the day! The dude, agreed to come straight after work to lie in a box and play dead =p Hahaha~ I'm so very the grateful siah~! The money was real little but thankfully he thought our work was quite interesting and even offered his service should I need future assistance => Heh heh~ One more person I'm indebted to liao =p

Really loh, in times of need, you'll really be able to see who your true friends are :~~~~D *touched*


Finally got the chance to "chat" with him again. And it was he who made the call~ *得意*  Even though  I was the one who sms-ed initially to ask for some contacts (with no intention to chat hor).

Anyway, it was the call that I'd been waiting for months ago. The call that could finally confirm for myself the status and perhaps feelings between the 2 of us. Even though we were just chatting randomly about what we are doing lately (while I was working on my props).

Yup, I'm very certain we'll never get back together again. I've totally lost all feelings for him. Actually I've more or less came to that conclusion a long time ago. But the thought of "will we still get back?" has always been at the back of my mind. Not that I yearn for it, but simply cos that was his so-called "intention" way back then when everything started going downhill.

I still laugh at myself for being so silly back then. I guess when you're so-called "in love", you're really blind. With my mind more sober now, looking deeper and beyond the facade, he actually possesses the qualities that I most do not want in a guy: Unreliability, Boji-ness, and Boastfulness (amongst other negative traits that have surfaced since the love mist had cleared). It's ok to be friends, but he no longer has a place in my heart. Admission into the latter is after all, very limited.

Honestly, I wana fall in love again. It's nice => And I'm excited cos I know the next one would be so much better. Ahhhh~~~~ *花痴*



Anyway, I've got a job interview with another company on Mon~~ Heee!~~ Hopefully the company can offer me something different and with new challenges. I think I'm done working as AD for kids drama =p wana do something else, something more challenging liao~~ 

In the end the supposed "career advancement" isn't gona come so soon. Not exactly sure if it would happen ultimately either.

Nevertheless, I had to betray my principles and agree to take on something else for them at a rate so low I don't even dare to tell anyone else.

No choice. Already promised my dear friend Cherlyn that I'll help her out somehow, even though I was hoping to do that on an ad-hoc basis. Well, I have to keep my word. Even if it means 2 straight weeks of my youth =p Bleah~

Was helping my brother with his attempt to make a fake gelatine hand-- something we learned from the Indy Mogul Backyard FX video -- for his Hall's fright night.

"...Don't be intimidated... It is actually pretty easy!"

Well.... "intimidated" we were not. "Pretty easy" it was not either.

It took us 3 tries and alot of mess before we finally got the base cast done properly.

And when the top cast was finally ready to be pry apart from the bottom one, we realized that the 2 parts had somehow merged, with my hand stuck in the middle of it!


As we struggled to pull the cast apart with our fingers -- fruitlessly -- the exothermic reaction of the plaster began to take greater effect.

And by the time we were desperately slamming a hammer into the brick-like slab of plaster and chopping feverishly into available crannies, the reaction was burning my hand so much it felt like I was soaking my hand in an onsen, for nearly half an hour.

I figured it was probably around 45 degrees C. Anyway, the exothermic reaction peaked and started to dip before we were able to get my hand out of the rock.

When my dearest right paw finally made it out of the solid onsen, the skin was already almost the colour of my lip. The top cast was of course, duly destroyed.


My mum gave me a certain Elizabeth Arden oily cream for burns (one which she almost threw away a week ago because she didnt know what it was for then).


The burn marks gradually went away but the skin still kind of hurt.

My brother realized the reason behind the failure was because he had forgotten to apply vaseline  onto the base cast before pouring in the top cast layer... We'll have to try again.

Unwilling to handle the concoction process of the plaster, and secretly afraid that I would not have the strength to pry open the cast on my own, I volunteered my left hand even though my guilt-stricken brother said we'll use his hand this time round.

Well, we were alot more cautious now. And after another few tries, we finally succeeded!

Ok, it has been confirmed.

I'm not gg back to work. Not end of July, not for a long while to come. Not with them anyway.

Good thing is, we've made peace.

Told the dude how I felt and have accepted his apology and explanation. We're friends again~ Heh...

Anyway, I'm glad he has confirmed my suspicion. At least I can go ahead and look for more solid jobs without qualms.

Have managed to hook up with a potential job opportunity. Actually, it could perhaps be considered a career advancement as well.

Have to go for an interview first and see what we can offer each other  before any form of confirmation. Don't wana say anything too soon, but I sure hope this would turn out well.

Am not exactly sure what it would lead me, but at least it could keep me going.

Going until I finally reach where I ought to be.

Still, I better get working on my Threadless t-shirt design heh.... US$2K... I want....

Was basically unmotivated and sluggish for the entire month of June. In fact, I turned a true-blue(or yellow) couch potato for the whole of last Sunday, watching the Ugly Betty Marathon from morning till 1 am the next morning. So much so I was so drained and unfocused I plonked off the plank even before my rear wheel touched the metal fixture during my Circuit Evaluation today.

Immediate failure. Bleah....

But as June starts to pack her bag, and July came (JULY~! FINALLY I CUD START WORK!!!), my tempo caught up and the zealous blood cells of a workaholic started pumping outwards from the heart and streamed through my veins again.

I was looking forward to it. Kind of. A part of me was still unmotivated and couch-potatoish, while the other part was kind of dying to jump out of that couch and kick some ass.

So the appointment was made with the dude, who now more or less runs the show, and we agreed-- or perhaps I thought we agreed since no clarification was made -- that I would drop in for a briefing and start work on the first day of July-- the very next day -- as we had previously agreed a month ago.

Thus I cherished the remaining 3 days of ultimate freedom/utter slackerism: Went for bike lessons (passed my Lesson 4 rather smoothly), watched TV, went "hiking" with my Charlton peeps, went library, read some books, sprawled on the couch and watched more TV(Ugly Betty Marathon on Sunday), more bike lessons...

And then, the day came, along with some truths.

No, I am not going to start work on the first day of July. Well... Perhaps end July.

I understand. The explanation and thus reasons were circumstantial. I was part of the team and I understood totally how scarce our resources were and still are. I was empathetic. And I had meant what I said.

Perhaps end July. But no promises. There are hurdles to clear, and my are they tall. I was.... uh, you know, convinced.

But after a few blocks and a few MRT stations away from the office, I started to wonder if the "perhaps" might in the end turn out to be another "no".

For the past 2 months, I had turned away other offers. Partly because they weren't attractive enough, and partly because I had sworn my loyalty to my fellow comrades to walk the final stages together.

It was ok to take a 1 month hiatus to recharge my battery cos resources were scarce to keep extra heads in the office. I needed the break anyway.

But it seems I'm expected to savour the air and drink the dews for yet another month.

It wouldn't have felt so bad if I were able to have learned of this earlier.

Early enough to prepare myself mentally as well as financially.

Early enough to quell that confidence and perhaps even complacency over an assured employment.

Early enough to moderate that excitement and wishful thinking of "come on, we'll see each other in office tomorrow anyway~".

And perhaps even just as early as after I uttered those words, to reply: "no, we'll not see each other in office tomorrow"...  Especially since it had already been decided.

I think the sense of betrayal stems from my wishful thinking that we 3 were the essential ones that made up the team. I was wrong.

Perhaps there wasn't even such a team. Or more appropriately, perhaps I was not in that team even if it did existed. After all, I hadn't been displaying complete cohesiveness with my blatant bitching and complaints over the other him. And I hadn't been one of the most die-hard fans ever since I started getting disappointed and frustrated over how things were being done.

Never mind that I scrapped my life dry to get the impossibles done and dragged my family and friends down as free labour. Turns out, I was just another employee.

Honestly, I'm not blaming anyone. I can't anyway. They have their reasons and the latter are as sound as a temple bell.

I was just shameless enough to consider the possibility of my indispensability.

And disappointed that the ones I regarded as friends, did not care enough to consider if I could let another month go by without an alternative source of income.

It's ok, I know my worth. And I'm resourceful enough. I don't and I won't depend on anyone for a living.

Thanks guys for providing me with that indignation to drive the sluggishness away.

Job hunt starts today. 

Just so unmotivated...

I'm tired and I've gota wake up in less than 4 hours time, but I just don't really feel like getting off the comp... at least not until I type down some thoughts...

Havnt been able to blog my thoughts and feelings for a long long while and I was almost getting used to not taking stock of my daily psychological activities.

My family and I are going to M'sia for the weekend and yet I'm not exactly feeling very excited. Aside from the fact that M'sia isn't really top of my list of places I wana go, and the other fact that we actually have been to M'sia often enough to not instill anymore sense of enthusiasm, I guess my mood is pretty dampen by the sufferings of our fellow Myammar and China people.

Saw the Sissy's World report on the China earthquake relief effort and I couldn't help holding back the tears that were welling up. Nothing is worse than being the survivor and having your family all dead... And it is more heartbreaking to see the excavation team give up and leave before pulling out any bodies; compared to seeing the bodies of your loved ones in front of you.

My heart goes out to the poor woman who held on to the crane truck for dear life, begging the team not to leave her family behind in the rubbles; my heart goes out to the wandering man, whose parents are dead, son was crushed and wife is currently still missing and uncontactable after her office building collasped; my heart goes out to all the wailing parents and children, who will never see the loving faces of their loved ones again...

And the situation in Myammar hasn't gotten any better either. The tropical storms are gona make it even more difficult for the rescue efforts to proceed. Why are the heavens so unkind to these poor people... It is the draconian military regime that ought to be punished, why are the people the ones to take the  brunt of this???

But there's nothing much I could do about these aside from sending in my donations and blessings. And I can't help but feel a little disconcerted for leading such a wonderful life while others are suffering.

Anyway, was surfing my friends' blogs (been ages since I last did that) and realized how much I'd missed. Feeling rather guilty for not being able to spend time with some of my closer friends for the past months. But with everybody busily depleting their lifespan for work, it really is very difficult to get together. I can't imagine how much more difficult it would get when everyone has settled down and start their own families...

Am still feeling very guilty I missed Na's birthday and still made her wait for so long when I tried to make it up to her after work the other day.  Had made the effort to want to remember at the beginning of the year and yet I was still overwhelmed by work to pay attention.

We work to sustain our Life and yet  we often lose our Life to work. Well, I'm taking a hiatus from work for the whole month of June. May I finally be able to accomplish the things I always wanted to do but never find the time... For one, I think I wana start drawing and painting again...

Nope, I'm not depressed don't worry... Haha... I'm still my bubbly self => It is just one of those nights...

FINALLY!  After 3 months, I'm BACK!


We have finally wrapped our shoot last last Saturday (even though my boys and I still had alot of moving and returning of props and furnitures to do on Sun and Mon). Well, I've been slacking since... Haha.. taking my own sweet time to process the invoices and clear the mess on my table...

This has been a real challenging project. But like all challenging projects, all the hardships just kind of vapourize after the shoot. I think I have an amnesic capability towards unhappy memories... Heh heh~

Well, I wouldn't say I was a very good PM. Hey, I'm new siah~ But I think I definitely was a very hardworking one. Hahaha~ Due to the lack of ka-ching ka-ching, a couple of us had to double up (and triple up and quadruple up and five...) a few production roles.


Beside my own production department (supported by my production assistants for the daily necessities of transport, food, drinks, and other logistics) I was very much involved with the Art department's work as well.

My Art Boys~ Raymond, Thian Leng & Wei Hao


First to Arrive, Last to Leave -- The most hardworking production and art teams
And extreme right is Art Director Ah Liu, 2nd from left is his assistant Titin--
 2 of the people who doted on me the most!

You Are 80% Brutally Honest

Most of the time, you tell it like it is. Even if it's hard for people to hear. Sometimes you hold back though, because you never want your honesty to be hurtful.

You are a Romantic Realist

Okay, so you fall in the middle. You know that love isn't like a greeting card... Yet you can always find a greeting card to describe your feelings. You are the best of both worlds Girly yet independent, dreamy yet serious. Almost any guy can find balance with you. (but I have a problem finding a guy who fits into my balance...)

You Are 39% Scary

You scare men off ocassionaly, but only very weak men. You're a normal woman. You're not perfect, but you're pretty darn close. (so maybe the reason is cos I've yet found the right macho sunshine guy~ Hahaha!)

Sometimes you just get so swarmed with work you have no time to blog.

And when you do get time, you are just so tired and drained that you lose the motivation to blog.

But most of the time, you just get too numbed by the lethargy and challenges at work that emotions and thoughts are simply cast aside. And you move on in life...just like that...without taking stock of what have happened or what emotions you have experienced...

Anyway, this new Rat Year doesn't feel like a new year at all. In fact 2008 just seems like an extension of 2007... Haha.. Maybe due to my work lah... damn drained... damn challenging.. Horoscope said I'll face major career challenges this year which allow me to perform and display my capabilities =D Great, really great~ As long as I can survive the shoot till end May.. I should be safe... Ha...

Had a 12-years anniversary gathering with my 6A peeps last week. So fun! So happy! Haha...



Almost all of us brought the stuff that we have kept since Charlton days~ I also bought our childhood Ding Dang chocolate for them folks so as to enhance the "down-memory-lane" theme. And the chocolates still come with a mystery toy in each pack!


Jade and I have known each other since Primary 1! That's 16+ years of friendship!


Buddy is now in amber status heh heh heh~ SO HAPPY FOR HIM!!! =D He's really a great guy and I really hope he would get his happiness => He deserves it! You go dude~!!!

This Rat year would be a damn xiong and challenging year for me... The next few months are gona zoom by in a very hectic fashion. Just thinking of it gives me headache...But I'm sure I'll come out of it a stronger and better person.

When face with an obstacle or a problem, you don't run away from it; You take it on and face it in the eyes => Then as you look back again after crossing the hurdle, you can smile to yourself and say "it wasn't that bad afterall~" =D

Happy Rat Year Everybody => As long as you want it, it'll be a great year~

Wheee~! I've secured my jerseys sponsor!!!!

Wheee~! I've secured a hair wigs sponsor!!!!

Wheee~! I've got tailoring partial sponsors!!!!

Happiness~! Hahaha... Ran around Singapore for 5 appointments today and came back with good results! All my days of calling and emailing and coaxing and befriending have paid off! My sponsors are such GREAT and WONDERFUL and COMPASSIONATE people!

If you peeps need customized jerseys, t-shirts, club tees, caps, mugs watever, I HIGHLY RECOMMEND Graffit Imprint! (There's one in Velocity as well~) It is the pioneer for customized tees in Singapore~ very professional and are equipped with great technology! Best of all~ The boss is VERY nice and friendly! =D But you won't find the boss in the shop Haha.. since he is running all around.

Then if you need hair wigs to change your hairdo in an instant, or you are currently undergoing chemotherapy, I HIGHLY RECOMMEND Graft Hair Care at Sultan Plaza!!! The boss is a VERY VERY compassionate lady! There was once a lady who was undergoing chemo went to her shop to try the wigs. She loved the wig very much but had no money to pay cos all her money was spent on her husband's (yah he oso kana cancer) and her own chemotherapy... So the lady boss just gave the wig to her out of goodwill! Heart of Gold!

Was a little down yesterday cos worked whole day, didnt have enough sleep, skipped lunch, take cab rushed to meet the sponsor only to be chased out... Think maybe I was too tired.. Had been working day and night to get sponsors or prep stuff for the new project. Haha.. almost cried when I walked out of the building. Very silly.. But I suck it up, sat on the stairs (since there was no place for me to go...) and forced myself to keep calling my other sponsors. Which made me feel better cos managed to secured a few of the appointments today. And WHEEE~~!! Today was such a great day!!!!

According to Bok, yellow is a good color for me. Helps in increasing my wealth and fortune. A HK fortune teller once told me yellow is bad for me though, said black is my lucky color. But I dun really fancy black. I like happy cheery colors, like yellow~ So I choose to believe my buddy =D Heehee~

And it's been quite good actually. Both times I had major appointments (once with MDA and today's multiple sponsors), I wore yellow~ And the days both turned out well =D Hee!

Did a test on Facebook and it said:

Finally! Tomorrow's the final day of shoot for the Cai Tao Kueh Keng Gai production!!!

After 12 days of overnight shoot, I've concluded: I'm solar-powered.

I have the stamina to last through the night, it's just that my brain functions more effectively in daylight. At night, moi brain juz aint that sharp... Was feeling rather down during the initial stage since I wasn't as xing mo and fast as before. I still isn't. Called Na to whine while I was out of set buying stuff... felt like crying loh =< Somehow I've lost the drive and enthusiasm for production. But suan le, shall convince myself it's just not the right time of the day, I'm solar-powered rem?? Haha... dun screw up jiu hao.

Being the only PA who can drive, I'm assigned the task of getting food & drinks (dinner, supper, breakfast) or fetching forgotten wardrobe and props or making last minute purchases (at night...) or getting a fresh set of clothes for a fellow team mate who spilled coffee all over herself, most probably a result of lack of sleep...

Which is really a blessing since I get to escape from the set and drive around Singapore in my van~ Heh heh... And all these nights of sai gang has left me covered in cuts and bruises. Lucky no one's gona hold my hands. Think they are getting rougher... My biceps are getting toned again too, all thanks to the nightly exercises of carrying the food and drinks for 20+ people and transporting cartons of mineral water and can drinks.

I worked an average of 15 hours each shoot day, getting home mid- mornings after sending the other peeps back, sleeping 4-5 hours in the afternoon, wake up do casting stuff for Ding's feature, and back to work for another night of shoot. Xiong, really xiong. There was once I never sleep for 37 hours because I was rushing to Ding's stuff after a night of shoot and then back to shoot for another night. Manz... was vigorously shaking my eyes open as I drove the concussed gals home the following morning. But I guess if I had to do this long term, I'll probably get used to it too.

In a way kind of understand what kind of life he was and probably still is going through. And when the days are as packed, there really isn't time to have a life. He really did made time for me before. So I really had been important. But unfortunately, not important enough. Oh wells~

Made a number of new friends and I'm grateful for this learning experience => At least it has kind of mentally prepared me for the overnight shoot we'll be doing for Ding's film.

Can't wait for this shoot to be over... Den I can go do my facial and have a haircut... Hahhaha~ And plunge full-force into the new project. I need a new organizer book... Need to do up a checklist  once this is over... let it be over fast.... ok go sleep. Tomorrow's another long day.

Haha... wanted to blog about this but didnt have the time since I was plunged right into another project after leaving Ark and dunked from meet-ups and meetings one after another.

Not gona write much since I need my sleep for the overnight shoot tomorrow. Let the photos do the talking! But one thing for sure, I had the bestest xmas party ever!!!




We played Taboo, Pictionary and the Name Game. Some of us were very competitive and gan jiong while some of the "wiser" ones (that's wat they prefer to being "old"...) kindof relaxed... Haha.. It was damn fun and thanks to En Lai, we had a very interesting presents exchange session too!

It was a very fun and exciting night. I am glad I went along with it despite not having the mood at all initially Haha~ I almost did it again by not following the "black-&-white" dress code...Somehow I suspect there is this rebellious streak in me that I've yet outgrown... Anyway, by a twist of fate managed to get Kang to bring a white top for me when he came down to pass me the company DVD I left at home hee~

Honestly, I really enjoy working there. I'm missing them gals already~ (oh yah, there's still Shane.. haha..) Bosses are asking me to go back for ATBR2 or other projects => Definitely would love to. Let's hope this year would be a good one for all of us ba~

It was meant to be the last entry of the year, but I was shitting in the toilet when the year crossed over *bleh*~ Hahaha....

Anyway, 2007 had been a real roller coaster of a ride.

Excitement, depression, happiness, bliss, heartbreak, sense of accomplishment, defeated, jaded, hopeful, indignant, grateful.... I'd got to experience all forms of emotions and I must say 2007 was the most eventful of the 23 years I have thus far.

Was walking aimlessly around the Esplanade area just now after visiting Beng Huat's shoot site with Ding & Co. Didn't feel like going home, yet didn't feel like staying for the fireworks either.

The number of people there was tremendous. But despite being surrounded by the throng of party crowd and music and lighting display, I was feeling a sense of extreme calmness.. to the point of emptiness. On hindsight, it was amazing how the party mood couldn't permeate me at all. I was just moving around in my bubble of "emptiness".

The last few days of 2007 had left me very exhausted. And I'm already dreading the upcoming 2 weeks cos I'm having 13 days of overnight shoot.... Within which I'll have to juggle my casting duties for Ding's feature as well.

Honestly, I'm not ready for 2008.

There are still certain issues that were left unresolved and emotional struggles I have to come to terms with. I'm forced to go against my principles, yet I understand why I had to do it. I'm a straightforward person who bears my heart to those I trust, yet I can't expect the same from them. The many sad and cruel truths of growing up.

And I really have to grow up now... Especially since I can no longer claim the title of being the youngest on set.

I think it's pretty obvious I'm not all that excited about the new year as I previously was already Haha... And I think I'm having another round of identity crisis.... This is an unfulfiling entry. I think I need to whine things out, but I don't have the time. Damn.