Ah Kai's Egosphere

It has been half a year since I started my first perm job after graduation.

And it has come to a point when I'm seriously deliberating if I should still continue this path.

Is it the "6-Months Itch"?? I basically change a working environment every 6 months since my first job... Perhaps. I'm afterall a very 三分钟热度 person. HAha~

But more importantly I guess is because I realize promises made were not fulfilled. And I've accomplished nothing that I sought to achieve when I first took on the job. I've been given a title to which my actual work has no relation to and I've been running projects for all the other departments except for mine.

Yes, I've learnt stuff. There are new skills I've acquired and new knowledge I've gained. But at the same time, many opportunities have also come and gone. Opportunities that would have helped propelled me towards my goals.

The biggest regret of these 6 months I guess must be the fact that I could have been on the credit list of the matrimonial scam movie... ARGHHHH....... I had felt the heartache then when I had to turn down the offer. And I was so frustrated I almost quit so that I may join the project. But I stayed on, waiting for this other project that I was promised. I was assured again and again with promises that turned up empty. 2 deadlines have been missed. And I believe the 3rd one is not going to be met either.

Friends asked if I were scared of not landing a job after leaving given the poor economic outlook. My replies were always nonchalant and confident. Truth is, I am worried too. But more so for the fact that I'm not sure if I am still relevant and able to meet up to the industry's expectations given my near half a year hiatus from the industry dealings. Yes I did dabbled in the marketing aspect of the industry. For maybe a short 3 months? Eye-opener as it was miserable, it was still insufficient.

We only have that few chances to learn and make mistakes. And all the better to make those mistakes while we're still young and able to afford the career risks and even embarrassment.

It won't be long before I have to seriously shoulder the responsibility of providing for the family and maybe even start my own. So I really can't afford to waste my time helping others fulfill their dreams anymore. I need to get back to working on mine...

I really do not wish to see my dear colleague "die" from all the sudden pull out, nor do I feel good leaving the kind superior who has always been nice to me... Especially when all the initiatives that he has been working hard to achieve are only just beginning to be actualized.

But I need to be selfish this time round. I've already done my part accomplishing the other projects I was tasked to do and helping jumpstart the new initiatives. It is time for me to move on...

人不为己天诛地灭... 对不起... 但， 人各有志。